Voice from a soul

The story of a CEO

2009-10-17T17:56:00.006+08:00

There is a young lady. She is quite highly educated, charming, energetic and ambitious in the eyes of many. There was once the president of a company that kept her profile in view, considering to invite her into the business. However, no action was taken.

Until one day, this lady began to look for job. That company drew her attention, and she applied for it. She got the job, as the CEO of the company.

She has been working very hard, and she appears to be well pleasing to other companies and employers. She is praised to have the potential to bring the company to another pinnacle of success. All she needs is just the time to prove it.

She has brilliant peers also, who are working as the CEO of other companies, while some are having their own businesses. When they come together, she is always the one who appears to be the brightest.

One day, the lady happens to have the opportunity to have a meal with the president, with the CEO's of other companies. After the meal, the president tells the successful stories of other CEO's to the lady, describing how they achieve their success, how they manage to create millions of dollars in a short time, how they manage to gain new business in a completely blue ocean, and so forth, as always. Feeling not comfortable to be at behind, the lady CEO begins to present to the president, how she will implement her plans, how she will put her effort into actions...

and...

... she stops...

... because she suddenly feels that she is a loser... as she suddenly realizes that, the president is not hiring her to be brilliant for display, but to create value for the company. She thoroughly cannot be compared to the other CEO's in this aspect.

The president tells her, "No worry, I will still have you as my CEO, but... but... other CEO's appear to perform much much better than you..."

She thinks in her heart: "Isn't it useless to appear outstanding in the eyes of many, but fail to please the person whom I am suppose to?"

Sleep Deprivation- A reminder to myself

2009-10-04T04:45:00.001+08:00

Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation has become one for the most pervasive health problems facing the United States. It is estimated that people on average now sleep one and a half hours less than people did a century ago. In a 2002 “Sleep in America” poll of 1,000 adults, nearly a third said that they need at least eight hours to avoid feeling sleepy the next day. However, the respondents responded that they average 6.9 hours of sleep on weeknights and 7.5 on weekend nights. Many Americans do not get the sleep they need because their schedules do not allow adequate time for it and they do not know the negative effects lack of sleep can have on their health and functioning. Others are unable to get a good night’s rest due to sleep disorders, chronic pain, medications, hot flashes, stress or health conditions such as heart disease, depression, arthritis or heart disease.

Some experts are even beginning to wonder if widespread sleep deprivation is having an effect on America’s brainpower and creativity. They are advocating that sleep deprivation be recognized with the same seriousness that is associated with the impact of alcohol on society.

Other experts dispute the existance of widespread sleep debt.

How does a lack of sleep affect the body?

One well-known study undertaken more than a decade ago showed that a rat prevented from sleeping will die in about three weeks, having lost the ability to maintain body heat and develop a fever to stave off infection. In humans, fatal familial insomnia, a degenerative brain disease, leads to death after several months, though scientists have not determined whether the cause of death is the sleep loss or other aspects of brain damage. While this disease is extremely rare, lack of sleep can have dramatic effects on quality of life.

A person who loses one night’s sleep will generally be irritable and clumsy during the next day and will either become tired easily or speed up because of adrenalin. After missing two night’s sleep, a person will have problems concentrating and will begin to make mistakes on normal tasks. Three missed nights and a person will start to hallucinate and lose grasp of reality. Someone who gets just a few hours of sleep each night occurs a large “sleep debt” and can begin to experience many of the same problems over time. A 1997 study found that people whose sleep was restricted to four to five hours per night for one week needed two full nights of sleep to recover performance, alertness and normal mood.

A recent U.S. Army study concluded sleep deprivation reduces emotional inteligence and constructive thinking skills.

Other short-term consequences include:

Decreased daytime alertness. Loss of just one and half hours sleep can result in a 32% reduction in daytime alertness.
Impaired memory and cognitive ability, the ability to think and process information.
More than double the risk of sustaining an occupational injury.
Impaired immune system.

Long-term consequences can include the following:

High blood pressure
Heart attack
Heart failure
Stroke
Psychiatric problems such as depression and other mood disorders
Mental impairment
Increased mortality risk
Relationship problems with a bed partner
Obesity - (The link between obesity and sleep is an interesting one as lack of sleep can cause weight gain by increasing hunger and affecting metabolism, and extra weight can cause sleep disorders such as apnea which cause sleep deprivation.)

Sleep Debt Can Be Dangerous

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates conservatively that, during an average year, “drowsy driving” causes 100,000 automobile wrecks, 71,000 injuries and 1,550 fatalities. The U.S. Department of Transportation reports that 20% of all drivers have dozed off at least once behind the wheel. Drowsy driving accidents are often more serious than other wrecks because they often occur on high speed highways (because the driver is maintaining the same speed for a long period of time), there is no attempt to avoid the crash since the driver’s eyes are closed and the driver is usually alone with no one to alert him or her. Adding to these alarming statistics is the fact that long-haul truck drivers tend to sleep only two to four hours per night.

In addition to truck drivers, other adults who are especially vulnerable to sleep deprivation are shift workers. An alarming increase in the frequency of accidents is seen during the graveyard shift. Notable incidents that have been due in part to sleep deprivation have included the Exxon Valdez oil spill and Three Mile Island. Shift workers are also in the top three populations at the highest risk for drowsy driving automobile accidents.

Does it make you crazy?

No, sleep deprivation does not make people mentally ill in any meaningful sense. Insomnia is a very common symptom of many mental illnesses, so confusion occasionally arises about cause and effect. But sleep researchers do not feel that sleep deprivation causes psychosis or schizophrenia or depression or similar problems.

"Visual misperceptions" happen to sleepy people, but these are not the same as hallucinations or waking dreams. Auditory hallucinations are not experienced by sleep deprived people.

Sleep deprivation and euphoria

Sleep deprivation gives a lot of people a buzz. Especially in the first night of staying up, many people experience euphoria. Indeed, sleep deprivation can even be a short-term way to address depression. The effects of depression decline. Total sleep deprivation for a whole night improves symptoms in 40-60% of patients. (In their manic phases people with bipolar disorder do not sleep much and do not need much sleep.) Unfortunately, sleep restriction is not a viable treatment for depression on an outpatient basis. Supervision is required.

Imaging research has shown that one night of sleep deprivation leads to an increase in brain dopamine levels. Dopamine is sometimes called the "pleasure neurotransmitter" because of its role in so much human behavior.

If you win you will not need to explain; if you lose you should not be there to explain!

2009-09-15T21:18:00.005+08:00

I am quite impressed by this sentence, by Hitler.

Many times in our life, we intend to do something. We plan for it, and we try to execute our plan to realize the goal that we set. At the end, it does not matter how you start it, how you go through it; what matters is whether the goal is reached.

There is another kind of saying that we should enjoy the process instead of the result. I like the concept also, but, is it an excuse for those who fail to achieve the set goal?

There is an action implied by Hitler in this sentence: Keep silent and not to explain. For him, it seems that words do not mean anything. Win means win, lose means lose; attempts to justify the works are meaningless. So, does this mean that explanation of works are useless, as the works should have been manifested by themselves?

Personally, I am getting more and more inclined to this direction. I believe more in works, rather than in words. Afterall, it is the works that produce result, not the words. Unless, the words that we speak can bring in some result.

Perhaps, this is the reason why testimony is so important. If you have it, you don't have to explain, and people get convinced. If you don't have it, no matter how hard you try to explain, that will be to no avail.

But then, what is the use of explanation? What is the use of justification over a failure? For me, the answer is-- confidence.

When I was told that surd 2 is not a rational number, I didn't believe it. Even when I told others about this, I didn't have confidence until I PROVE it. That proof is an explanation.

When I was told that integrating 1/x dx yields log x, I didn't believe it. It was the book Calculus that taught me how they arrive at this result. The teaching is an explanation.

Now, you are told that E = mc^2. Empirically, the equation holds, but, how do you know that there is no counterexample? Yet, why are people believing that the equation is true? Eistein did not prove it, did he? Does it mean that, his equation holds, so he wins, he doesn't need to explain (prove)? We believe that it is true, because of our confidence in Einstein's brilliance?

Another one, financial model. Black Scholes formula values the options using six estimated parameters. When the valued option is not equivalent to the market price, the analysts claim that it is because of the volatility; the volatility used in the market is different from the volatility that we use. We should use "implied volatility" in the market to price the option. O, well, if this is the case, how is the market price of option firstly derived then? While there is no explanation, everybody is using it blindly? Does it mean that, as long as the pricing doesn't cause any problem SO FAR, then it shouldn't be explored any further? If this is the case, what is Black Scholes formula for? To serve as... benchmark? Is benchmark not for confidence?

In actuarial jobs, an actuary might apply a model. There are basically hundreds of models. So, the actuary "randomly" select a model. The boss asks him, why this model? He craps for hours, and the boss is convinced. What has actually happened? Is model a prediction of the future? If not, then why is the boss convinced? I guess, because of the hours of craps, the boss has gained confidence?

Another one, even physical model used by engineers. When a civil engineer builds a model for a house, they calculate the weight, the stress, the pressure, the heat limit, the sheer force, etc. If after 10 years, the building is still standing firmly, does it mean that the engineer has calculated everything rightly? Or, if a building falls because of an earthquake, that says that the engineer has done the calculation wrongly? If it would fall, why then was the building approved to be constructed in the first place? Was it not because that the government was confident in the works of the engineer?

It is all about confidence. When we have explanation, we are confident, although the explanation might have some errors also. This leads to another problem: an explanation is no longer an explanation, instead, it becomes a justification.

"Why are you late?" "Because I didn't feel well this morning. I had a 'morning sickness' ".

"Why are you late?" "Because I am lazy and I wanted to sleep a bit longer".

What is the difference? Explanation? Or justification? If you are the boss, and you hold what Hitler said, you would punish this person. But if you do not hold his concept, then how do you discern explanation and justification? Are you confident (Do you believe) in the words of your worker? So, regardless of whether or not it is an explanation or justification, you believe it or not, the fact remains the same: He is late, and his job is left undone.

Well, from romance comics or novel, the woman likes to ask the man, do you love me? Will you [fill in the blank] when [fill in the blank] if [fill in the blank]? Well, sometimes, the guy doesn't have to think so much. Why? Because these words are just for confident-building purpose! That "ifs" and "whens" might not happen at all! But for girls, how much confidence do you gain from his "I am willing"? Does his saying of those words actually imply that he will really do that if the "ifs" and "whens" happen? (if no... then why you ask? =.=|| ) Again, it is because of confidence. Man says it to build the confidence of the girl toward the guy; girl asks (and listens) to build her own confidence to the guy. Anything happen? Nothing. Just an exchange of few words.

What am I doing here? Explaining the words of Hitler? Am I giving anyone more confidence toward his words?

Stress is not an excuse

2009-08-25T00:53:00.004+08:00

Or, stress management is important?

Everybody is also busy. Who is not?

But I guess it is fair to say that the degree of stress experienced is different.

Any stress management skills to share?

When there are too many voices...

2009-08-11T23:11:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, we get confused when there are too many comments.

For my case, some says that I have overworked myself; I should take a rest, and enjoy my campus life. Continuing to do more shows that I am too aggressive, and that is not good at all. In addition, overworking kills health.

At the same time, some says that, I am nothing compared to some others; I should have work much more. Already at age 20, approaching 21, still no money, no career, no house, no car, no success. Some people at my age has already become a million/billionaire, and what the heck am I doing...

So, well, I reach my own consensus: I should work more, more and more, yet, work in a hidden way.

And, I think I need to delete those words like "Tired, Exhausted, Overworked, Stressed" from my brain-dictionary.

It's time for the final SOA exam- FETE!

2009-07-26T18:20:00.006+08:00

The following is the readings for exam FETE:

Readings

Investment Decisions: The Certainty Case	26
Multi-period Capital Budgeting under Uncertainty: Real Options Analysis	47
Capital Structure and the Cost of Capital: Theory and Evidence	88
Acquisitions, Divestitures, Restructuring, and Corporate Governance (p.781-806)	26
Modeling and Risk Management for Equity-Linked Life Insurance (p.157-169)	13
One Step in the Right Direction: The New C-3a Risk-Based Capital Component	13

Risk Management Ch. 14: Capital Allocation and Performance Measurement	50
Capital Allocation in Financial Firms	9
Specialty Guide on Economic Capital (exclude appendices)	44
VAR: Seductive but Dangerous	12
A Principles-Based Reserves and Capital Standard	4
Do Life Insurer RBC Ratios Really Reflect Underlying Risk Levels? (exclude appendix)	13
Introducing Moody’s New Liquidity Model for U.S. Life Insurance Companies	14
The New Risk-Based Insurance Capital Model	43
The Cost of Capital for Financial Firms	52
Solvency Measurement for Property-Liability Risk-Based Capital Applications	16
Financial Markets and Corporate Strategy Ch. 18: How Managerial Incentives Affect Financial Decisions	27
Risk Management Ch. 2: The New Regulatory and Corporate Environment	52
Corporate Finance Theory Ch.2: Ownership, Control, and Compensation	41
Report of the American Academy of Actuaries’ C3 Life and Annuity Capital Work Group (p.1-27)	28
The New Corporate Finance Ch.31: Theory of Risk Capital in Financial Firms
Investor & Management Expectations of the “Return on Equity"	7
Capital Allocation by Percentile Layer	27
Dividend Policy: Theory and Evidence	47
Introduction	15
M&A Process Overview	44
Finance	30
Valuation Techniques	78
Integrated Risk Management Ch. 13: Contingent Leverage Strategies and Hybrid Debt	45
Financial Decision-Making: A Behavioral Perspective	25
Securitization of Life Insurance Assets and Liabilities	32
Are You Paying Too Much for That Acquisition?	11
Insurance Mergers &Acquisitions	42
Real and Illusory Value Creation by Insurance Companies (p.1-21)	22
Corporate Finance Theory Ch. 9: “Understanding and Accessing Financial Markets	58
Life, Health and Annuity Reinsurance Ch. 5: Advanced Methods of Reinsurance	74
Financial Markets and Corporate Strategy Ch. 19: The Information Conveyed by Financial Decisions	31
Integrated Risk Management Ch. 16: A Case Study: The Securitization of Catastrophic Risk	39
Provision for Equity-linked Liabilities (p.11-14)	5
Modeling Long-term Stock Returns	32
Maximum Likelihood Estimation for Stock Return Models	18
The Left-Tail Calibration Method	12
Markov Chain Monte Carlo (MCMC) Estimation	18
Swaps	31
Binomial Trees	22
Wiener Processes and Ito’s Lemma	18
The Black-Scholes-Merton model	33
Exotic Options	25
Swaps Revisited	15
Equity-Indexed Life Products	11
Variable Annuities: “No Loss” Propositions” (Sections 1 through 3.6 only)	12
What Does An Option Pricing Model Tell Us About Option Prices?	4
Investment Management for Insurers Ch 13: Problems Encountered in Valuing Interest Rate Derivatives	16
The New Corporate Finance Ch.32 How to Use the Holes in Black-Scholes	7
Modeling the Guarantee Liability	20
Dynamic hedging for separate account guarantees	24
Guaranteed Annuity Options	16
Equity-Indexed Annuities	27
The Greek letters	32
Volatility Smiles	18
Basic Numerical Procedures	44
Estimating Volatilities and Correlations	20
More on Models and Numerical Procedures (26.1, 26.2, 26.3 only)	31
Martingales and Measures	23
Interest Rate Derivatives: The Standard Market Models	20
Convexity, Timing, and Quanto Adjustments	13
Interest Rate Derivatives: Models of the Short Rate	29
Interest Rate Derivatives: HJM and LMM	18
The Oxford Guide to Financial Modeling Ch.5 and Ch.6	86
Model Risk	10
Use of Stochastic Techniques to Value Actuarial Liabilities Under Canadian GAAP	26
Investment Management for Insurers Ch. 11: “The Four Faces of an Interest Rate Model”	12
Empirical properties of asset returns: stylized facts and statistical issues	11
Validation of Long-Term Equity Return Models for Equity-Linked Guarantees	19
Market Equilibrium: CAPM and APT (pp. 164-188)	25
Efficient Capital Markets: Theory	22
Efficient Capital Markets: Evidence	33
Information Asymmetry and Agency Theory	47
An Introduction to Applicable Game Theory (p.127-149)	22
Finance Applications of Game Theory	19

It makes a total of 2191 pages. Gun it down in 3 months~~

Hate the ceding company? Or hate the disaster?

2009-07-25T00:47:00.006+08:00

There is a reinsurance company. She offers reinsurance to a general insurance company. This general insurance company insures the houses in a village.

A hurricane comes, as it used to be. It destroys the houses, and many claims go to the general insurance company. The owner of the general insurance company hates the hurricane, and pays the claims.

However, some portion of the claims go to the reinsurer as well.

Erm, well, should the reinsurer hate the hurricane, or the ceding company?

I would say, I hate exams, especially UTAR exams!

No money no talk?

2009-06-29T12:37:00.013+08:00

I used to think that, money is important, but not everything.

Starting from, drinking. I need to pay for it. An ice-kosong now costs RM 0.50.

Followed by eating. In PJ area, the cheapest rice with 1 vegetable cost me around RM 1.50- RM2.

Then, transport. To tour around Klang Valley, I think, the minimum amount I have to spend is RM 2. I can take Rapid KL and reuse the ticket for whole day. If I take LRT or Metrobus, it is going to cost more. Car? I need more than RM 1000 to get one.

Place to stay? The cheapest place that I am aware of now is RM 200, per month.

Study? Assume that I don't go for class. I buy myself photocopied materials, say, 100 pages. That costs me RM 0.04*100= RM 4.

Let us move one to greater one.

I want to go for tour? Just talk about the most frequent and easiest touring- Shopping. It takes me transportation expenses, drinks, if the time is long, meals. And shopping, the expenses can go almost uncounted number. O, yea, if I don't want, I may want to have a walk in the garden of my condo. Oops, sorry. If I want to have a condo, I can either purchase it at RM 300k or around that, or, I rent it at RM 200 per month. No free tour for me. Sorry.

I want to earn money? Alright. I want to send resume, I need computer. Buy a computer? Prepare myself at least RM 1000. If not, cyber cafe might be a good place. 1 hour, RM1. O man. I hate working. So troublesome. What about starting my own business? Come on! What can I give the market, if I have no money to create it, process it, hire people to do? Alright. Assume that I do everything myself. I still need to eat, and drink and sleep... and they are not cost-free.

Alright, well, I have brain. I can sell it. But, O no! Who knows that I got brain? I have to prove it! Erm... prove that I have brain... perhaps, by exams? O man! I forgot, people charge exam fee!

Alright. Selling brain doesn't work. I sell my muscle. I am powerful. I can do heavy works. I can stand hot weather, cold weather, light, darkness. I am not afraid. Oops! I fall sick! I don't have insurance coverage! O, man, I should have owned an insurance coverage. But wait... how much should I pay for insurance premium?

O~ I have no way. If I have nothing in my pocket, I can't continue. I beg perhaps. In Pudu Raya. Argh, I don't know which one is faster: Collecting enough money for a meal, or the speed of getting hungry...

O gosh! I have no more way. I have to go home. Yea, home sweet home. At home, I think at home I don't have to think about money. Yea yea, I know, I should not just wait for people to feed me. I should go to work also... But... to the very least... they will not dislike me because I have no money gua... I can work later one...

Haha. Yea, they won't kick you out. They might not scold you directly. Because they give you face. But one thing: They will think that you are rubbish. They are waiting for you to say: "I have caused you much trouble. I think I should leave now."

One of my female tutor said this before: Don't buy me flowers. Don't buy me this and that. Just give me cash, or give me diamonds in Valentines. That is how your show me sincerity.

Well, final voice: "If you don't have money, you better shut up."

An option trader

2009-06-21T22:50:00.007+08:00

There is a trader, who trades option. His goal is to be a multi-billionaire.

When he first stepped in the commercial world, he was attracted. He could go for Forex market, he could go for bond market, he could go for stock market, he could go for derivatives market, he could go for real estate market, and he could go for commodity market.

He saw the potential in derivatives market, and he decided to go for it.

Not long after he entered into the field, he purchased a call option. The strike price was low, but the underlying asset is a fast-growth asset. Not volatile.

One day, he suddenly became so confident. He felt that the stock was going up for sure. So, to make more money, he sold the call option, and got a forward contract instead, since forward contract is free.

He does not buy the stock immediately, because he has no cash.

He is now waiting for maturity date. He is afraid that the management is not doing their job well. He now joins the company, to make sure that the forward happens to be in-the-money.

O yea, the option was not a European one, but a Bermuda option.

Some said he was too crazy to sell the option. Some said, under such circumstances, his decision was right. Some said, well, it depends on the management.

This trader is in the management now. And suddenly he realizes: O, it is not just all about management! The market makers and speculators are also influencing the stock price!

So, this trader goes to be a speculator now.

That's why, he has three jobs. And he is still happy for his condition.

If we can love someone not for ourselves, then it is a true love

2009-06-14T01:30:00.002+08:00

Erm... just came to think about it... =)

If I don't want to be, people is rushing for it

2009-06-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

Hearing the testimonies, I feel that I have been standing for long time. Overcomer... If I don't want to be, others are going to. If I don't answer the call, people is answering. Great mercy needed!

Everything is good to me, I believe

2009-05-10T03:15:00.003+08:00

I feel grateful, for everything that has happened. Though, many don't happen as I expected, many don't happen as I hoped for, many don't happen as I wished...

I am thankful, still, full of gratitude for what I have.

Lord, thank you so much...

Burning midnight, morning, and afternoon oil

2009-05-01T00:50:00.004+08:00

Exam AFE is just 7 hours away. I still have to spend the rest 4-5 hours on memorization (I tell you... there are so many things to memorize), trying out sample exams by Eddy Chan, author of TIA study manual, and figuring out calculation materials.

The time now is 0053, and I plan to study until 0430, then will sleep until 0630, start exam at 0830, until 1645. Wow, what an energy-consuming day! What a fantastic experience... :)

First FSA exam

2009-04-30T15:48:00.002+08:00

One more day to go! It is going to be fun...

Less Tomorrow, More Yesterday

2009-04-14T00:34:00.006+08:00

I read this phrase from a private message of a friend in MSN. I don't really know what he referred to. Well, applying this to me, undoubtedly this describes my counting down for exam AFE!

Still have 17 days to go; a big exam indeed. I am surprised at my calmness to face this exam, even the remaining days are dwindling, for a reason, I guess.

This exams is on the first of May, a date amongst the UTAR exam dates. I predict, I will do badly for the three subjects before this exam, and score for the other two after the exam.

Sorry, I have to shut up and resume studying!

或许，我开始了解了

2009-03-01T22:25:00.005+08:00

有些事，我考虑了好久；

那些事，我寻求了许久；

似乎有了解答，

却是犹如所失；

好像信心十足，

仍是凭空无实。

我曾绞尽脑汁思考，

我凭无愧良心感觉；

我也用尽知识查考，

丝丝搅扰连绵不绝。

我好像取得了，

仍是一无所有；

我好像迷失了，

却仍微步前行。

我曾多次尝试，

我也多次迷失；

我想讨你喜悦，

竟不了解你愿。

我的心啊，你正面向何处？

我的魂啊，你在行走何方？

我的眼啊，你正注视何物？

我的双手，你正忙于何干？

后来，或许我领悟了，

原来，我不需要这些；

虽然，前途未必光明，

有你，我必一无所缺。

有时环境不如意，

有时境况不顺利；

尽管决定不容易，

求使我知你美意。

当我周围乌云密布，

求你让我看见你面；

当我周围人声喧哗，

求你让我闻你微声。

渐渐，我发现，我所需要的，

是你的微笑，你的同在。

若是，连这个，我都失去了，

那我，还有什么呢？

Home

2008-12-30T17:13:00.004+08:00

When a four years old boy is bullied by a fat friend, he usually cries, and says, "I want to go home. You big bully! I will tell my dad about it!"

When a youth is playing with his friends in the field, and it begins to rain. He tells his friends: "Hey guys, let's go home! It is raining!"

When a student is studying in foreign country, and the holidays are near. He tells his friends: "Hooray! I can go back home after exams!"

When a father is working so hard overseas, and after working, he says to himself: "How is my family? My wife? My children? I miss my home very much."

A home is a realm, not a location. A home is sphere, not necessarily family.

Home is where we have peace and rest. After laboring in working or studying outside, we wish to find a place, a surrounding, a group of people, where we can have real rest for a better tomorrow; that's our home. If our home is not filled with peace, but instead, wars, disputes, conflicts, there is no rest. That is not home in reality.

Home is where we can be ourselves. We are not afraid to say what we think. We can behave like what we are. If we have to hide, we have to practice double standards, we have to be another "me" at home, that is not home in reality.

Home is where, one does not demand each others, yet each one knows his own responsibility. Everyone fulfill their own obligations, and everyone cares for each others. If there is one, who is not responsible for the others, then there exist imbalance. If there is one, who requires other to do something according to his/her own standard, then there is restriction, there is pressure. This makes the demanded person being not in peace, if the requirement is not reached.

Home is where, those members are not selfish, but all of them know to labor for the family willingly. None of them take advantage of others, but each of them give and take appropriately.

Home is where, each member know their own position soberly. None of them despise themselves, or regard themselves too highly. None of them is too afraid to voice, and none of them is the dictator.

Do you have a home?

Knowledge, Vision, Practicality and Experience

2008-12-25T23:59:00.011+08:00

Perhaps, my definitions on these four words are not as defined in standard dictionary. Let me define them in my own way:

1. Knowledge: The idea, the thought, the concept, the framework, the plan or the process of an incident or event, which are understood and remembered in a person's mind.

2. Vision: Knowledge which not only fills a person's mind, but has the potential to govern, control, and guide a person's actions and daily living, due to his/her subjective realization, comprehension, and genuine appreciation of the importance and necessity of the knowledge to be practically carried out.

3. Practicality: The availability, possibility and attainability of the application of a person's vision in his/her living and living, actions and decisions.

4. Experience: The process of application or the past application of a person's vision practically in his/her living, decision, and actions.

Human life is a process of learning. In different stage of human life, we learn different things in different stages.

The first stage of learning is always to acquire knowledge. Since young, when parents taught us, "Child, you have to be hardworking.", hardworking being good has become a knowledge to us. We understand that, and we remember that. In other words, if one were to ask us: which one is good, hardworking or slothful? We can answer that, hardworking is good. This is knowledge. This is the first stage.

Nonetheless, we might still not see the importance, the necessity of being hardworking by that time. It is when we see that hardworking is important, without which we can't success, without which we can't be proper person, being hardworking becomes our vision. If a person does not have hardworking being important as a vision, he/she only knows how important being hardworking is, yet, he/she may not be hardworking at all. Being hardworking is a mere knowledge to him/her, but not a vision governing that person.

After having subjective realization that hardworking is necessary, one may want to carry out what he/she sees. Following this is another issue: how can we carry out our vision? Can our vision be possibly realized? If not, then it is not practical. In order to materialize our vision, we must have a way to carry it out; it has to be practical. Personally, I meet some students before. They said that they are regret that they were slothful for years. Now, they want to be diligent. However, it seems that they have no way to do so. How to be diligent? How to be hardworking in studies? Yes, we need to be hardworking, we need to spend time, but, to do what? Hence, to carry out seen vision, proper and appropriate ways need to be planned, so that the vision is not a mere castle built in the air.

Finally, after we have some practical ways, we go for it as we plan. Then, the vision becomes our experience. This is the final stage of learning. Not only we know that diligence is good, we believe in it; not only we believe in it, we are governed by it; not only we are governed by it, we have practical ways to live it out. As we live it out, we becomes a person who is diligent. We are not only talking about diligence; we are not only thinking about being diligence, but we have become a person who is diligent.

This concept not only applies to moral lessons, but also to academic learnings.

Since kindergarden, the children are taught some simple alphabets, simple mathematics, and some simple way of walking, talking etc. Next, these children are then trained to remember more words, phrases, science facts, locations of countries etc. when they are in primary school. After that, in secondary school, the teenagers are exposed to more formulas, more mathematical concepts, more historical facts, and so forth. Furthermore, in colleges and university, students are trained to learn deeper things of what they have learned before.

Notice that all of these, are just the first stage of learning. If the students were to follow this kind of education system 100%, they are only equipped with bunch of knowledge in their head, yet they do not know what they know, and do not know how to use what they know. This is the failure of students, as well as the failure of education system. The society never needs walking dictionaries nor encyclopedias; the society needs someone who know what they know, what is the importance of what they know, and the usefulness of what they know. In other words, the society is looking for someone, not only with knowledge, but knowledge plus vision.

Nonetheless, vision alone is still inadequate. Imagine there is someone, who is so knowledgeable, and he knows so well about the applications of the knowledge he has. When you hire him to work for you, he can creatively tell you so many new ideas based on what he knows. In a sense, he is better than the previous type of students, yet, imagine, what if he can only tell you the ideas, but he has no way to carry it out? Action always speaks louder than words. It is still pointless, if someone can think of high plans, high vision, yet the points are unattainable. This deals with the issue of practicality. To bring in a desirable result, we not only need motivating words, nice plans, fantastic ideas, but we also need a concrete way to work out those words, plans and ideas. Hence, vision plus practicality is vital.

Finally, once the knowledge, having been constituted in a person's being as vision, is practically carried out in a concrete way, then it becomes an experience of a person. It is obvious to have someone experienced and without experienced differentiated. Firstly, an experienced one can handle that particular task more quickly and efficiently. Second, an experienced one is able to identify the common mistakes and potential risk of a task clearer. Third, an experienced one usually has higher confidence, and is able to guide the amateur in the task more efficiently. Experience can uplift the efficiency of one's performance. This is the reason why experience is a predominant factor highly valued in employment than any other factors.

Without knowledge, our vision is always low; without vision, our experience is always limited. In other words, rich experience implies wide knowledge and high vision. Hence, young ones need to learn as much knowledge as possible. After learning, they should not leave them only in their mind, but contemplate over its purpose, its usefulness. Subsequently, they need to practically carry out what they understand and comprehend. Only by this way, the value of a person is others eyes can be highly regarded.

AFE study schedule

2008-11-15T08:36:00.005+08:00

New month, new year, new challenges. The following is a schedule prepared by an actuarial instructor for AFE exam. *I like it. For the first six items, they are name of books. The rest are notes by SOA. Consistency is needed... and perhaps... less than 4 hours per day, again...

12/1/2008- 12/7/2008 Investment Guarantees
12/8/2008- 12/12/2008 Asset/Liability Management of Financial Institutions
12/13/2008- 12/25/2008 Risk Management
12/26/2008- 12/31/2008 Financial Statement Analysis: A Practitioners Guide
12/31/2008- 1/3/2009 Strategic Risk-Taking
1/4/2009- 1/6/2009 Life, Health and Annuity Reinsurance
1/7/2009 General American Life Can't Pay Investors
1/8/2009 Insurance OP Risk: The Big Unknown
1/9/2009 Mapping of Life Insurance Risks
1/10/2009 Moody's Looks at Risk Management & The New Life Insurance Risks
1/11/2009 Life Insurance Products and Finance: Annuity & Investment Products
1/12/2009 Variable Annuity - "No Loss" Propositions
1/13/2009 Life Insurance Pricing and the Measurement of the Duration of Liabilities
1/14/2009 Countering the Biggest Risk of All
1/15/2009 Moody's Looks at Terrorism Risk in the U.S. Life Insurance Industry
1/16/2009 Life Insurance Products and Finance: Pricing Assumptions
1/17/2009 "Theory and Practice of Model Risk Management"
1/18/2009 Dynamic Financial Models of Property-Casualty Insurers
1/19/2009 Use of Stochastic Techniques to Value Liabilities under Canadian
1/20/2009 E&Y Presentation on Fair Value Measurements Standard
1/21/2009 EVA & Strategy
1/22/2009 Modern Valuation Techniques
1/23/2009 CSFB Credit Portfolio Modeling Handbook
1/24/2009 CSFB Credit Portfolio Modeling Handbook
1/25/2009 Black Monday and Black Swans
1/26/2009 Integrated Risk Management
1/27/2009 Integrated Risk Management
1/28/2009 Integrated Risk Management
1/29/2009 Securitization of Life Insurance Assets and Liabilities
1/30/2009 Asset Liability Management for Insurers
1/31/2009 Asset/Liability Management, IASA Handbook
2/1/2009 Principles for the Management of Interest Rate Risk
2/2/2009 Hedging with Derivatives in Traditional Insurance Products
2/3/2009 Financial Oversight of Enron: The SEC & Private-Sector Watchdogs
2/4/2009 Letter to SEC Regarding Fitch Ratings View on Role & Function
2/5/2009 Dynamic Financial Condition Analysis Handbook
2/6/2009 Dynamic Financial Condition Analysis Handbook
2/7/2009 Dynamic Financial Condition Analysis Handbook
2/8/2009 Derivatives: Practice and Principles
2/9/2009 Investment Management for Insurers
2/10/2009 Key Rate Durations: Measures of Interest Rate Risks
2/11/2009 Long-Term Economic and Market Trends and Their Implications for ALM
2/12/2009 Variable Product Hedging Practical Considerations
2/13/2009 Hedging the Bet: Variable Annuity "Bells and Whistles"
2/14/2009 Credit Portfolio Management
2/15/2009 Why COSO is Flawed
2/16/2009 Internal Control - Guidance for Directors on the Combined Code
2/17/2009 Supervisory Framework - 1999 and Beyond
2/18/2009 No Assurance of Good Governance: Observations on Corporate Governance
2/19/2009 Insurance Criteria: Refining the Focus of Insurer ERM Criteria
2/20/2009 ERM - Integrated Framework: Executive Summary
2/21/2009 Risk Management and the Rating Process for Insurance Companies
2/22/2009 Performance Measurement Using Transfer Pricing
2/23/2009 Total Return Approach to Performance Measurement
2/24/2009 Managing the Invisible: Measuring Risk, Managing Capital, Maximizing Value
2/25/2009 Risk Measurement, Risk Management an dCapital Adequacy in Financial Cong.
2/26/2009 Death Benefit Focused UL
2/27/2009 ERM Specialty Guide
2/28/2009 Fixed Annuities in Low Interest Rate Environment
3/1/2009 Influenza Pandemics: Are We Ready for the Next One
3/2/2009 Managing Variable Policyholder Behavior Risk
3/3/2009 Whither the Variable Annuity
3/4/2009 Operational & Reputational Risks: Essential Components of ERM
3/5/2009 Actuaries, Stochasticity and Risk Management
3/6/2009 Overview of Embedded Value
3/7/2009 Economic Capital for Life Insurance Companies [2008]
3/8/2009 Fair Value - Financial Economics Perspective
3/9/2009 Fair Valuation of Insurance Liabilities: Principles and Methods
3/10/2009 FASB Summary of FAS 157
3/11/2009 Risk Aggregation for Capital Requirements Using the Copula Technique
3/12/2009 Liquidity Risk Measurement
3/13/2009 Actuarial Aspects of SOX 404
3/14/2009 Responsibilities of the Actuary for Communicating SOX Controls
3/15/2009 Application of Coherent Risk Measure to Capital Requirements in Insurance
3/16/2009 Risk Management: The Total Return Approach and Beyond
3/25/2009 Registration Deadline. Don't forget to register
4/30/2009 Refund Deadline. Better not chicken out
5/1/2009 Exam Date (8:30–11:45 a.m. and 1:30–4:45 p.m.) Enjoy the date!!

Total pages: 2419

没有把握的仗，别打！

2008-11-11T06:30:00.003+08:00

对这话觉得十分赞同。。。

Time, is precious

2008-11-05T08:07:00.009+08:00

Since the day I entered foundation studies, it took me about 2.5 years to finish some materials starting from calculus of 1000+- pages to 400+- pages P manual to 500+- pages FM manual to 1000+- MLC manual to 350+- MFE manual to 1200+- C manual, thus making a total of around 4500 pages of papers full of words and numbers. This is the actuarial pathway, and I expect another 6000 pages for the two final advanced exams.

Until today, having just sat for the last preliminary exams, the fresh memory of sitting for the first exam is still deeply etched in my mind. That was May 2007, 12pm. I can still remember: I could solve some of the questions, and some couldn't, I heard sighing from the one besides me, someone was having a typing test (The sound of typing by that time still sounds in my mind)... Now, I have already finished exam C. It is fresh in reminisce, but it was already 1.5 years ago.

During the years, my mother has been urging me to stop taking it and to have a break, for she indeed witnesses my aggressiveness in studies. My friends in my university viewed me as nerd who only knew studying when I was in the first semester, for I always carry a 500+- pages file with me when I go for class. Some of the members in Actuarial Outpost also encouraged me to go for development in other aspects instead of taking actuarial exams. My housemates keep reminding me that my grey hair has grown more, and I defend it by saying that it is because of gene. Some lecturers said that I can never make it, some said I should go on, some said I should go for other modules... There were so many people advising, but in the end, still, I am the one who made the decision to finish it.

These years, I don't have the freedom to get 'crazy' or to have great fun as common campus students do. I had a preconception that, campus life should be relax and easy, should be full of fun, should be fun of fresh and exciting experience. When I was in foundation studies, I was expecting a 3 years-course with much leisure time. Nonetheless, mine is definitely not. Everyday, my sleeping time is averaged at 5 hours, and I deeply know that I need 8 hours per day. My mother and some of my friends advice me not to do so, for it shortens life. Well, sometimes, when we are committed to or commissioned by something, we have to go on with all the price.

Many people say that I am gifted, I am blessed with brains in many aspects, but I am trying to be frank here: I am not that intelligent as many think. As life goes on, as life is experienced deeper and further, I come to realize that, there are simply too many genius out there, and there are too many people who are much much better than me, and that I am indeed too small to be compared to them. There are unseen things unseen. This is a true word, not sarcasm. Even intelligence itself doesn't guarantee anything. It is just an add-on priviledge in life. Hence, a word to actuarial students here: if you think that you are not brilliant, make sure that you are diligent, and diligence is most of the time evaluated by the time you spend.

At a blink of eyes, I have already gone through half of my campus years. Did I utilize my time effectively? Are those which I have gained, obtained worthwhile? I am still evaluating, and I will decide what to do for the another half.

So, are the points above related to the topic? I think so.

Fear not, He knows

2008-11-01T13:34:00.006+08:00

Fear not, He knows

Why my soul fret and tremble?

Fear not, He knows,

Your life is in hands;

Fear not, He knows,

And you know He is able to care for you,

So trust the best is planned!

Fear not, He knows,

This such a thought so joyous!

Though I don't know,

What need have I to fear?

You know, you know,

Thanks and praise you Lord Jesus!

Through all unknowns,

You make Yourself so dear!

That's a hymn that I knew since I was form 2. Suddenly this hymn popped into my mind, and helped my very much. I am taking exam C tomorrow, the biggest preliminary actuarial exam, and have begun to feel anxious for it since yesterday. Nonetheless, with the realization that everything is under the sovereignty of Him, rest and peace I experience.

A study day

2008-10-26T15:54:00.002+08:00

This is the first time I describe my experience in blog. Actually, my friend requested me to write something on the meal that we had, but I find that my descriptive writing on the lunch would lack much content. So, I would rather write for the whole day. Please bear with the poor description...

It was Saturday. We made appointment to have discussion group from early morning 0745 until 1500. Early morning, we reached PD block as promised at 0745. Surprisingly, we were not allowed to enter by the guards, because there was no staff inside. Our only choice was to wait for the next UTAR bus for PA block. Meanwhile, we had our breakfast at the mamak stalls just outside of PD.

After having some thoughts exchange during breakfast for one hour, we realized that the bus was not running as scheduled.

On the way walking to PC, we went to the MPH warehouse sales to look for Greek dictionary. It has been in my mind to learn Greek, for I am interested in scripture expository work very much. I delayed learning it because I gave myself excuse that I had to spend most of my time for SOA examinations since my foundation course. Nonetheless, as I considered about my time management recently, I conclude that I am actually not fully utilizing my own time. I should able to at least write simple essay in Greek if I had been devoting my time on it.

Besides, it is always easier to learn language with someone, instead of doing it oneself. Since my friend is also interested, I think we will be more persevere if we learn together. I decide to start learning it after my preliminary exams.

We reached PC around 0930. We used a room for our discussion, and the environment there was cool for studying! It was approximately 10-13 degree Celsius and would be nice if I were to wear sleeve shirt. Thus, I suggest to those who can't study at home, go PC for free air conditional-equipped room!

After couple hours of studying and note writing, we went to BBQ chicken in Jaya One for lunch (the main point of this blog). As usual and she likes, she snapped some pictures using my 2.0mp camera in my phone:

Interior Design of the restaurant
The set lunch that she ordered
The pictures of set lunch that she ordered by parts...

The set lunch that I ordered

From the pictures alone, we can see the difference between guy and lady: direct vs complicated. She said she wanted to take picture on the food from different angle for perfect view... I was "..."

After the lunch, we chose to go PA. It is still the same, as before, except that the noise of the students was not there. We spent the rest of the time discussing on Delta Hedging and Interest Rate models until 1600.

There is always a price

2008-10-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

For whatever we do, there is always a price; whether we pay for it before we do, or we pay for it after we do.

Sometimes, we might think: why can others be like this, while I cannot? Such a great price I have to pay, while others, seemingly not much?

Well, the answer is known. Just ask.

Older blogs

2008-10-20T08:54:00.001+08:00

For older blogs, www.xanga.com/sohpmalvin